“I just want to come home and see you smiling.” So says sweet, sincere Said Husband.
To which I respond with a smirk and a snarl. Further proof that there is, indeed, a deep problem. Because when a guy says he wants his wife to be happy, it wouldn’t make her mad if she wasn’t so unhappy to begin with.
I hear a lot of women say they’re sent off the rails by the slightest thing Dude does. Why would you put on that ugly green shirt? Why do you stir the chili counterclockwise? Don’t you know that the toilet paper should roll outward, not back? What are you, some kind of idiot?
I’ve started to realize—through lots of counseling, lots of self-help books, lots of quizzing other women, and the hard, long slog of gaining tiny bits of wisdom through experience—that when we’re just constantly angry about the things he (or anyone) does, we’re really mad about something going on within us.
The idea is to get past his counterclockwise soup stirring long enough to figure out what our own issue is. Because here’s the thing: Even if he's doing something that’s actually stupid, the fact that we’re also mad at ourselves just compounds the problem and distracts us from doing a real, objective analysis and, ultimately, finding a solution. His stuff is just a distraction from what is really trying to get our attention.
So, woman, why aren’t you smiling? What would make you grin?
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4 days ago
1 comment:
Just a couple weeks ago with little money to boot, I bought roses for myself: marked down to $1 per dozen. They were beautiful and I found myself smiling because I could do this for myself. In essence, it was a love note to myself. When I saw the socks dropped carelessly on the floor or the dishes placed in the sink (rather than the dishwasher) for that day I smiled.
When the little things bother me, at the ROOT is my fear of not being heard, respected, or loved enough to honor me/ my voice. When I am fully aware, awake, conscious of me, loving me, knowing my voice, Knowing I AM, well those times socks on the floor are just that socks on the floor.
All too often my sisters we get so caught up and twisted in the lives of our other half that we are no longer awake and aware to ourselves. We are asleep and trying to wake up and you have seen how ugly that looks on a toddler.
So wake up and when our darling husbands say I just want to see you happy be ready to say This ( you name it) makes me happy. If you want in on it have at it otherwise...
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