Internal Coherence = External Fluency

So?

What do you want?

They say you can’t have what you want if you don’t know what it is. I suspect that you can probably have it either way. The problem is if you haven’t articulated what you want, you may be looking right at your heart’s desire—it’ll be sitting next to you on the sofa, grinning and winking—and you won’t even see it. Which will feel like the same thing as not having it. Such unnecessary anguish.

Why is it so hard to know—and to say—what we want? Is it difficult precisely because it’s so important? How can we make it easier for ourselves?

A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful experience of having a Style Statement consultation. Style Statement is a process in which you answer a series of probing questions about your preferences, your cravings, your interests—and the brilliant women who developed the process, Carrie and Danielle (carrieanddanielle.com), distill the information and present you with two simple, rich words that describe your very essence. The idea is that, if you have this mantra, this mandala of authenticity, you can use it to choose your next job, your next dress, your next man, your next sofa, the theme of your next gathering—with effortless ease. Because you’ll be clear that, though the Queen Anne settee is just lovely, the leather chaise is what really suits your style. It’s about knowing what you want through knowing who you are.

Internal coherence. External fluency. That’s a phrase I read today in the mission statement of a creative company where I used to work. (CraneBrandwork.com) It’s brilliant. Think about it: When you pull yourself together on a soul level—when you are making sense to yourself—then you can speak your desires into the world clearly, without fear or shame or hesitation. I believe that if you can say it, you can do it, you can have it, you can be it. And no one and nothing can get in your way, because nothing is as invincible or as undeniable as a woman who knows.

So, babe, who are you and what do you want?